Benefit of the Doubt

I was going to get down to writing this blog post about an hour ago, but I ended up reading some stranger's Tumblr and I didn't realise that it loaded more posts everytime I reached near the bottom!

So I kept scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling.

At some point I decided , "whoa this page is long, I'll stop when I reach the bottom of this page." So I looked at the scroll bar and anticipated the end of the page, and kept going scrolling down and reading more posts until I realised that the scroll bar would never reach the bottom! Agh... 2891 seconds wasted.

Daniel Tan shared this Youtube clip of the placebo effect on Facebook:

Well, interesting and quirky video aside, I noticed something which really bugged me. It listed  'close door' buttons in lift as an example of placebo buttons.

These? Placebo buttons? But I have always pressed them thinking that they helped speed things up! Could it possibly be that all this while I had been made to believe that these buttons actually work? Or do they really? I still don't know. I'd like to believe they do; but it makes logical sense when you think of it; that these lifts rely on their own computerised timing and come to think of it, they never really respond immediately. What a bummer. 

Regardless, I will probably still press them with the same naivety as before, perhaps a little more skeptically though. Well, you never know right...

Still, I feel so...

...agh. nocebo. I do hope anti-histamines are no placebos, though.

Well, ruminating over the whole idea of the placebo effect, it really is quite interesting how our minds can deceive itself into perceiving effects which aren't actually there.

**

Back during the much simpler days of this last Chinese New Year:

In all likelihood, that New Year will be the last one I will experience in Malaysia for at least another 6 years. As my sister and brother have been for the past few years, working and studying abroad meant that they have missed out all the while. It's quite sad to see CNY lose it's vibrance as the cousins eventually drift apart, go overseas, start working. Things have changed a lot, but seeing as it was my last New Year here in a while, I decided to make the best of it.

And I did, it was one of the best in recent years. It deserves far more documentation that this short post so I will probably be writing up another one with highlights from the celebrations.

Here's one that still cracks me up though:

Taking family pictures during New Years is a tradition for all of us Chinese families. It is also one that I've generally dreaded the most. Having to sit still and smile for multiple posed pictures in the sweltering heat of the Lunar New Year weather when I could well be doing something else like playing around with cousins does not bring back the fondest of memories.This year, of course, we all obliged. Most families would take family pictures like so:-

And it has been so since the dawn of time. (Actually, more like the dawn of cameras.) This year we did things a little different. 

My cousin set his DSLR to take 9 photos without informing anyone else. After the first shot which was proper and all, my cousin started jumping around frantically like a possessed animal and yelling to us to start doing stupid stuff. Instead, we all looked on, quite bemused by his sudden antics.

The end result?

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.

.

.

.

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Best CNY family photo. Ever.

(photos from Tumblr, Stanley Liew, BottleBoy where not indicated)

Lately.

(Hi, I just noticed a bug with the header of the blog with Google Chrome. Anyone else notice that? Let me know, thanks!)

**

It really is the thief of time. I'm also particularly good at it. Procrastination.

Lately, I've been putting everything on secondary priority, with nothing really taking first priority. Lately I've been doing so much of nothing. Lately, I've been playing guitar alot. Lately, I haven't been blogging and that is probably explained by the preceding sentences. Lately, I've been feeling sick in most senses of the word.

I got worried so I made a Post-It:

You know that guilty nudging feeling when you realise you've been spending too much time doing nothing and neglecting your studies for too long. So I decided to get back on track. I decided to sit down and just open the book and start studying one day.

Well, I ended up updating my mirror instead.

Updating? I like to write the chords to songs on the mirror when I'm just learning them so I don't have to keep opening ultimate-guitar.com.

On another note, I'm really glad we got in semis for both Dzarif's songs for Battle of The Composers. This year's compositions are really exceptional; quite a pity that the committee isn't taking the opportunity to showcase all the talents at their disposition but instead eliminating so many groups before the finals. The finals will include other random schools. They probably wouldn't be up to the competition we're serving anyway.

Well, hopefully my forthcoming attempts to get myself back into the academic chapters works out. 

Just gotta take my anti-histamines.

Eye's on the prize, Chris.

Stuck in Reverse

Took a short break from blogging for C4. But now I'm back. It really is quite a commitment to blog but I want to make it a point to post consistently and for an indefinite period of my life.

I miss Paris

Today, I am going to blog retrospectively starting from this current time.
It's 11.58p.m., sitting quite pensively alone in my room at home listening to Carla Bruni. She's this really talented French artist married to the French President Nicolas Sarkozy. Many fans are disturbed by this. Well, I don't really care. I really love acoustic French music of this kind because you don't understand what the artist is singing but it still sounds really beautiful. Have a listen:



A while before this I finished an episode of Chuck which was quite sad. Chuck and Hannah ended their story arc. :( I hate how Chuck episodes either end really extremely happy and awesome or really quite sad or frustrating. It's always one or the other. The only remedy to resolving either of those outcomes is to watch another episode! Well, self-discipline dictates that I watch a maximum of one episode a day. This is for fear of finishing the series too quick like I did with Scrubs and then getting really sad because it was all over and I couldn't do anything about it. Heh.

Today CNY holidays began. In a way I was looking forward to it as a good break from everything. On the other hand, it did begin and it felt quite normal, quite anti-climactic. Perhaps it will get better. See, most Chinese kids would have much to look forward to during Chinese New Year. But for me, I feel that the new year's tradition has somewhat died out. Oh well, we'll be optimistic and see how it goes.

Two nights before that, Win Sern, Dzarif and I had a hilarious night-time hang out session in my room. With Dzarif on the guitar we chose songs and found the chords online and subsequently proceeded to sing out the songs (horribly) karaoke style! Just for kicks we found chords to a Jay Chou song that neither I nor Dzarif knew.
Dzarif played it although he did not know the timing. 
Win Sern sang along even though he was tempo and tone deaf. 
Me the non-Chinese-speaking Chinese did my best to sing along too. 
FAIL! In any case, we all had a great laugh at how horrible and incoherent we sounded.

Minutes later at midnight, Pitipat walks in with a handful of Korean food and sits down with us while we were thinking of which song to sing next. Suddenly he goes like, "Oh, I have a song for you guys to sing for me. It's called 'Happy Birthday'." We didn't realise it was his birthday! Poor guy; we did sing him birthday anyway and in four languages too.

Well, why, in the first place did we have an impromptu "karaoke" session that night? It was a celebration of a few things.Well, earlier that night, I had just finished my C4 Maths. Yes, the last Maths module for me! No more Maths classes, no more Maths exams. I was super happy and the exam went really well too. Aces. :) Even earlier before that, Win Sern threw a surprise party for his girlfriend. (Eh, Win Sern, *pointing* foooyyooooooohhhhhhhh!!!!!! :P Excuse the inside joke)

The best part was that he bought bubble wands for us to play with! We were having so much fun even before Jovi was there.

 Everyone was really excited by the bubbles. It was like going back to our childhood. Yes, we were all upper sixers, but for that short half hour we let the child inside us play and laugh and forget the worries of young adulthood. Everyone except for CT who just doesn't like bubbles.

sullen-faced and in blue: "I hate bubbles."

As for the rest of us, we were having a jolly good time.

Mind you the birthday girl had yet to arrive.

Sarah BK was really good at blowing huge bubbles. Hence the nickname, Bubble King. (BK - Burger King, but it's bubbles not burgers? Get it? :/ ) HAHA!

Well Jovi finally came. We sang we clapped. They hugged. It was so sweet. :)

Love this pic

 The only sad part was the candles which were inextinguishable were lit too early and hence melted the cake.
:(

Nevermind. We ate it anyway. Everyone was happy. Especially these two. :) :) :)

Alot more has happened before this but the interest of time, or more importantly sleep, I will save it for another day.

Facebook-Induced ADHD

This post will make my mother anxious. I will go ahead and write it anyway because I am always assuming she is not/should not/has no business reading my blog. Did you know I never acknowledged it's existence with her even when she talks to me about it? Haha. Anyway:

Let's be honest here, Facebook eats a good two hours of my life away everyday. It's the same for everyone, especially here in KTJ where the Facebook culture means getting responses 38 seconds later since everyone is just always on Facebook. I'm also sure Facebook HQ has some outstanding time-spent-on-website statistics that makes them feel guilty. Truth to be told, Facebook has sometimes made me feel like I have an attention deficit disorder.

I sat down last night to study, after having checked Facebook and decided to start some C4 work; only to find that after half a sub-question my hand itched to grab the mouse. Then I realised I had not even done one question yet, so I stopped myself. And this happens all the time. This is by no means a recent development; the urge to compulsively check the news feed has plagued me for as long as I can remember. It is a hindrance but it did not seem to really affect my grades despite making my studies inefficient. This attention struggle is not only between work and Facebook but also of course includes MSN, Youtube, Wikipedia, Google Talk and now Blogspot! Still, Facebook is the biggest thief of time. More often than not do I scroll through the Facebook news feed that shows me everything I've seen already, and I would repeat the process again regardless of any updates.

The problem is how pathetic it seems. A vibrant social life on Facebook isn't a social life. If anything, that time would be better spent hanging out in real life, not cyber space. I am not saying that Facebook should be done away with. It really is indispensable for helping people keep connections with others and for holding events. It is just that, any time spent unnecessarily on Facebook could be more productive, especially if it involved checking obsessively for updates that aren't there.

Many have gone about deactivating their account in a bid to curb their compulsion. I really don't think that is a sensible thing to do. It only shows a lack of self-discipline and it doesn't quite make sense to cut off from practical usage of Facebook.  So why deactivate it?

Instead of deactivation as an option to salvage my C4, I have decided instead to exercise some self-discipline! From the 23rd of January and indefinitely onwards the following will be set:

Ground rules
I may only check Facebook in the following circumstance:

1. Lunch break (12.30 -2.00p.m.)
2. At the end of a days worth of class
3. After dinner before prep (7.00 -7.45p.m.)
4. Just before I go to bed
5. I desperately need to contact someone or vice versa

In any of those cases, browsing must be contiguous and for a maximum of 10 minutes. 

Sounds good? You should scold me if you catch me on Facebook outside of these times.

-

And if you did read all that, thanks for reading my first entirely-worded post. 

For irony's sake, there's a like button at the bottom of this post too! 

I'm really interested to know this: Tell me how much Facebook eats away your time and whether you find it a problem; in the comments section.

Things You Can Do With Absolutely Nothing

I've been doing quite a lot of nothing lately, apart from stressing over D1. That was quite a hellish episode for me. It was really stressful knowing that I would get a lousy grade from it, but now that it's over I suppose I get some peace out of knowing that I would never need to sit for it again. The most harm it would do is aesthetically;on my statement of results that I would probably throw away. Nevertheless, I obsessed over it. It's over now. I can stop.

Year 2009, Heathrow Airport Terminal 5

I really am stuck in some sort of conundrum. There are some circumstances that I would give anything to change and but then again, if I consider the journey to this point I have reached; I would have it no other way. I would want to say it's been a crappy few weeks, but then again it's not because I've had some great successes, not to forget my Cambridge offer to Medicine in Emma which even some people on The Student Room have spoken enviously about. It's just, to say the least, confusing. Like a dull stomach ache.

September 2009: Me in Emmanuel College, Cambridge. Little did I know I would be
1. Applying for Medicine
2. Getting an offer from them

Sometimes I can feel miserable for no particular reason, especially when doing nothing.
-
On a whole lighter note, I found this on a website the other day:

THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
(some of the ones I picked out: )
Try to not think about penguins
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway.
Try to swallow your tongue
(Amusement Potential: 1-2 minutes)
There's not much to say about this one. It is possible, but really stupid.
Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Pick a random word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises.
Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
To get any benefit out of this one, you have to have a good imagination. Don't step off immediately, build up to the jump. Study the ravine below. Feel the winds at that altitude. Step off and...AHHHHHH!!!!!
Use your secret mind power
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Pick a passing by and try to use your mind power to command them do something, like drop their bag or knock into someone. The law of averages dictates that sooner or later one of your mind commands will come true, so you can convince yourself that you really have super human powers and waste even more time trying them out.
Make a low buzzing noise
(Amusement Potential: 15-30 minutes)
Hours of fun in libraries! Keeping a totally straight face and looking nonchalant, make a low pitch humming/buzzing noise and see who reacts. 
Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Sort of entertaining. Include flamboyant shoulder shrugs for added impact, or go for a Marlon Brando set of grunts. 
Try and sound Welsh
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
The key to sounding Welsh is to make sure that your voice goes up at the end of the sentence, so that everything sounds like a question. Throw in a superfluous 'isn't it?' at the end of everything you say and you're halfway there. Isn't it? 
(HAHA... Ms. Sarah should be able to help with this!)
Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view
(Amusement Potential: 3-5 minutes)
Think about it: your dog has only seen the house from a viewpoint from 6" to 2' high (15 to 60 cm for all you metric fans). It's never seen the tops of counters, what you keep on your desk, the tops of shelves, etc. Try looking at things from its point of view, too.
-
They also had another list for:


THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ANOTHER PERSON
...
Okay, I know. But they had other fun thing's in mind. For example:


Have a "Who is less competitive" competition
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.
Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
This works on the "I have the feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment-does this really work?
Pull out a hair, stick in someone's ear
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
Best done to sleeping people. Added challenge in having no one else around, because then you can't blame it on anyone else. Try to beat your record number of times before the person catches on.
Pour water in hand, make sneeze noise, throw water on back of person's neck
(Amusement Potential: 5-15 minutes)
Always a good gag. For an even bigger reaction out of the person, act like you're not sorry at all for what they think you did. Comment instead on how big that sneeze was or about how there was a lot of mucus in that one.

Source: http://www.urban75.org/useless/bored.html

Well, the article itself was a good source of entertainment anyway. That and some tasty chocolate Tim Tams made me a happy panda. :)

I tried some of them; like trying not to think of penguins(very difficult!) or repeating a word over and over until it loses it's meaning. "Along... along... along... along... along..." It works quite well.  The curb thing is a good idea, except try not to do it along a busy road; you may not die from the fall but you probably would if you get run over.

Another good idea is to watch this movie:

So bad it's good. Absolutely hilarious. Watched this today with Carl and Patrick. Good stuff, but don't watch it if you have a problem with humour that isn't intelligent. Hehe.

Anyhoo, next thing to obsess over is C4. After which I can truly have nothing to do (for a while at least).

KTJ is so fly, even Pesawat landed there.

Credits to Stanley for all the concert pictures! 
-
KTJ Global Debates decided to hold a charity concert dubbed Crossing Woodstock to raise money for UNHCR Malaysia which supports the refugees in Malaysia. It was the first rock concert to be held in the new auditorium and there was much excitement and anxiety about it. 

Opening act: Gee!

Well, what can I say, in all my four years in KTJ  I could quite assuredly tell you that this was by far the best Saturday evening event held and possibly ever in KTJ’s history. It was to involve performances by our own students plus a guest appearance by a local Malaysian ‘up and coming’ band.

   “Oh, Pesawat is going to perform for us at Woodstock.”

   “Pesa-what?”

A precious few of us ever heard of them. Our first impressions (or rather, preconceptions) can be summed up in the following two pictures:

...

Pesawat

Lagu rok

And that plane just now: that's not even a G6, it’s one of those noisy Fokkers. No offence to the band intended in any way because later that night, they blew away our preconceptions completely.

The evening began with student performances, most of which I watched from behind curtains at the side of the stage. I generally prefer to perform earlier so the pre-performance anxiety doesn’t end up clouding my pleasure as an audience member.  

Setting up

We were the third or fourth performance to come on.

   “Give it up for Anger Management!”

Not everyone in the band agreed with the name but if you ask me it’s actually a pretty apt name. See, as a band we fight, argue and disagree quite a lot. We had only begun properly preparing the songs on the day of Woodstock itself. This was due to conflicts over song choice and commitments. Nevertheless, when we walked on to the stage to face the crowd all thoughts of conflict wafted away. The drums were mic-ed up, the amps were set up perfect, blue lights engulfed us as we looked to the crowd. 

There was an air of electric tension about it all – like a loaded gun. We were going to save music – at least that’s what we decided to say. I cued the beats and we were off, performing Harrowdown Hill first.

My drumming was rusty (plus I only started rehearsing the song on the day), so I screwed up in some spots. I just dug into the song, kept going and went with the flow. 

There really is something very, very empowering and galvanising about kicking the bass-drum pedal and feeling the powerful thud pulsate through every single person in the auditorium. That’s why I LOVE playing with mic-ed up drum kits (only have done so twice in my life). 

Harrowdown Hill went well, Hysteria even better. I never know for sure how good we sounded, but with the monitors and levels all set up it sure felt great. Head banged until my neck hurt. 
All in all, we had a great performance and enjoyed our stage time thoroughly. Hysteria on Harrowdown Hill FTW!

Other bands were really fantastic, and I truly mean that. The standard of musical performance at KTJ has improved significantly over the past year, and that’s even with Monkey Bones gone! Of course, part of the praise has to go to the auditorium and the manager. The sound was so crisp and perfect.

Aidan's band's performance. Epic!

Daniel, Agu and Saiful

Saiful, Agu and Daniel’s rendition of Jeff Buckley’s Hallelujah was nothing short of amazing; gave me goosebumps.

**

The last part of the concert was for Pesawat to perform.

"Are you ready to fly with us?"

Remember the first impressions we talked about earlier? Most of us were half expecting drone-y vocals with passionate lyrics like "Akuuu rinduuuu muuuu....." and the all too familiar echoing, reverbed out guitar solos. Well, it was nothing like that. Their songs had us from the start; we clambered over chairs to the front making an impromptu mosh pit. Having been in the indie scene for so long only meant that their live performances are really polished. Before long, we were jumping and clapping like crazed teenagers.

Not really sure what genre their music falls into; very radio friendly but also great for live shows. Not the kind of music I would listen to everyday, but the kind that everybody can enjoy. I had a great time just jumping around and yelling till my calfs cramped and voice became hoarse.

Click to see larger picture. Can you spot me wearing blue plaid?

Somebody even tried to crowdsurf but failed miserably crashing straight to the ground after a few metres. Looked painful, but he got right back up. Their performances were really fantastic and energetic, so was the crowd! The band members were even playing tag on stage.
They ended with their final and apparently most well known song, which was written for Twisties' advertisment.

I really like the synth accents in this song's chorus. Great song for it's purpose and for the casual listener. :)

After the concert ended, we were all really exhausted but also really happy. Pesawat hung around to chat with us and shake hands. I think it's really quite noble of them to come play for charity at some secluded area in Negeri Sembilan. In any case, it sure paid off since they now have like 400 new enthusiastic young fans.

Band pic

Great night, great performances, great experience. KTJ has reached a whole new level of awesome.
The Global Debates team has set the bar high for Blood Brothers and everything else to come!

A letter from Emma

So it's finally here, the letter arrived at home a couple of days ago but I didn't let my parents open it. Instead they came to KTJ with it (and alot of tasty food and cookies :D ).

A very inconspicuous looking brown envelope.

Slitting the brown envelope with surgical precision

Didn't know how to go about it, I just stared at the brown package for like 5 minutes. Adam came by, and I decided to just go ahead and open it. I suppose the email sort of took away the suspense, but either way, I probably wouldn't have survived the two week long wait had they not emailed me.

Criminal deceleration form, fee status form, offer letter! :D
Well, I'm glad I can finally hold it in hard copy and like sniff it( yes I did. :/ ) and know that Cambridge hadn't made a mistake and emailed me wrong information or something like that. Lovely.

Sorry I keep going on about Cambridge, I promise the next post won't be.

**

Funny how I can sit down for hours and hours if I’m doing Photoshop design work or designing a new blog layout and just be 110% focused(to the point my eyes start smarting), but when I study things directly pertinent to my school syllabus, I can barely sit my butt down for 5 minutes. It’s different though if I find an interesting topic on Wikipedia. Things like that often displace my work when I plan to study. Spent like 3 hours straight putting this together:

Anyhow, I hope you like the new blog design; much less vomit-inducing if you ask me. Do you like it?

Is it fair to say things are going well for me?

Here are some reasons that some people would use as proof that I am not entitled to feel sad or unhappy, at least for the time being:

1. I got an offer from Cambridge to do Medicine (:D :D :D AHHHH)
2. I'm not sitting for S1 or S2 this month
3. After my D1 and C4 papers, I will have no more Maths class for the rest of my 'A' Levels. (10 double free periods for me to waste away, whee!)
4. I'm blogging while others are slogging away preparing for Statistics exams
5. I don't really have to worry about Medical interviews so much anymore
6. I got an offer from Cambridge to do MEDICINE! (XD OH MY GAWD :D)

(Did I mention Cambridge twice? Sorry, my brain still gets excited about it.)

In fact, those might be reasons for some people to ha- intensely dislike me. Well of course, those things are really great and they definitely make me very happy. Despite all this, there are some things that exist on the other end of the spectrum; things which disappoint and frustrate. 

Things like my band falling apart just days before the Woodstock concert; things like realising that I've lost some of my ability in drumming; things like difficult social problems affecting my friends; things like an apathetic friend who just doesn't want to save himself; things like a disrespectful encounter; things like my computer showing the blue screen of death! D:


Those things do get me down sometimes but when I really think about it, I actually have no excuse at all to be an angry/sad panda. 

Why? Because everyday for the past week, something has come along and made my day. Whether major or miniscule, there was definitely something.
Where to begin; the offer from Cambridge? I'm not sure if that so much made my day as it made my year or young adulthood. But I suppose it could suffice to say it made my day.
Then there was the C4 trial which I had not prepared for but scored 71/75 having not seen a leaf of C4 papers since the end of last term. 
Or the day I looked up at the cloudy (often unforgiving) sky and decided I was going to brave doing my laundry-and what do you know; all of them dry in time for me to fold them at night. That's something that never usually happens.
The other day I was even given cupcakes! 

C for Christopher and for Cambridge. How awesome is that. Few things in life are more happy-making than cupcakes. 
Happy-making too was the lovely response to my first blog post to restart this blog!
Today, a few things made my day.

We found a "No Parking" sign outside and decided to bring it into Physics class. "No Physics!" Mr. Muthu really humours us too much...

• A hilarious, hilarious Physics class
• Realising that tomorrow is a public holiday AND I have no exams on it!
• That I printed Mr. Lai's application notes and stapled them into a beautiful booklet so succesfully!

There were alot of other good things that made my days the past couple of days, but I can't remember. Perhaps it's the refreshed perspective or perhaps it's just a good week for me, but I sure feel like happy things are popping up more frequently for me. Before I forget; if you are taking S1 or S2, all the best to you! :)

What has made your days the past few days? Comment below! 
(Yessss... audience participation ;) )